Right after I took this picture of this gorgeous sunflower, in El Jardin del Paraiso Community Garden.
I thought of this picture of Jerry Garcia. That’s it man, China Cat Sunflower? do you see the resemblance?
So here was this guy who was treated like a deity. I guess most lead guitar heroes of that era, were treated like that. Jerry was able to hit some good notes. He could connect with your deepest primal feelings in a way, few could. Then there was the psychedelics. All these people getting turned on to levels of higher consciousness, that only people meditating for years could achieve. So whether he liked it or not, people were looking to him for their dose of micro-Jesus, their connection to god… every time he took to the stage. That’s a big responsibility… especially for a guy who got his joy from plucking on some strings, singing an old blue grass tale.
So seriously, how do we deal with whatever our lot in life is. How do we find balance within ourselves. We all have similar core needs and values. Whether they’re fulfilled or not, manifests in different ways.
Was Jerry’s issues as dire as yours or mine.. As high as he got, he obviously went too deep in the lows… He is a great lesson for us in both his life and unfortunately in his death. He had an ego, but was pretty humble about big picture stuff. He just wanted to be a mid-range rock star, not a super-duper iconic leader of a generation.
With all the attention that ended up being put on him, the dude wasn’t able to ground himself enough. He went for numbing himself, which didn’t work and down he went. 20 years after his death, people are still lost in the vacuum of his passing. His band, and all the other jam bands have been carrying the torch. or trying to carry the torch. But what exactly is the torch? I have too many middle aged friends, lost in the same oblivion they were in when they were 18. But now they’re in the 50’s and 60’s. Drugs or no drugs. Looking for something to hold on to. To identify with. To try and share, or explain..
My friend Eric and I were joking around, when I kept getting emails and messages from people mistaking me for the concert producer with my name. He was producing the big “Dead” concert, last year. So how do I take advantage of the influx of these Deadheads, vying for my misdirected attention…
I can pitch my Life Coaching business. . I had lots of people trying to push themselves on me. I would always try to deal with them in a humorous and friendly way. I figure, what if I was this Producer guy, they thought I was. What if this really was their big shot at being part of the big show? I ended up coaching many of these people. I was doing it more for myself. But I figured, hey that’s a good idea, but you might need to work on the delivery, or maybe you should think big picture on this one. Everyone can be a superstar. So many try so hard.. but what happens if you actually become one. How do you keep your shit together?
How do you humble yourself? For me, it’s recognizing when I’m not being present. I’m usually saying or doing something self absorbed or reactive. Not planting myself. Not grounding myself. How do I stay here in the present moment, to just be here, and not get lost in the pressures of whatever it is I am being sucked into.
Even writing this now, i realize I should probably meditate, to take the edge off and give me some needed focus. The Sunflower is constantly moving, even when it’s still, it’s following the rays of the sun. It’s focus is so finely tuned to what it needs in life. It needs to have this connection with the sun. That gives it it’s nutrients wonderment. So, let’s look to the sunflower the same way it looks to the sun, for it’s ceaseless beauty and awe. For it’s connection to the natural world.